Tuesday, March 20, 2018

The Sad Saga of Barbie's Middle Siblings: a Smack Dab Investigative Report

As usual, the first born
gets all the breaks.

           No, Barbara Millicent Roberts is NOT a Middle Child. But when I heard it was her “birthday” a couple of weeks ago, (she came into the world March 9, 1959), it got me thinking. I knew Barbie had a younger sister, Skipper. But were there any other Roberts siblings? And if so, are there any Middle Children? On my journey of discovery, I uncovered a series of mysterious disappearances, equally curious reappearances, countless cosmetic modifications, unsettling childhood mortality, and multiple aliases -- not to mention some serious identity issues. It’s a twisted tale that, much like Barbie’s own head, would make anyone's head spin.
Skipper: No doubt
she's a Middle Child.

          It goes without saying that being the younger brother or sister of a famous older  sibling is never an easy thing. But being one of Barbie’s younger siblings was far from like living in a dream house.
          Take Skipper, for example. First appearing on the scene in 1964, Skipper (a.k.a. “Malibu Skipper,” “Growing Up Skipper,” “Super Teen Skipper,” “Hot Stuff Skipper,” “Teen Fun Skipper,” “Pizza Party Skipper,” and “Teen Skipper”), clearly had issues finding herself. In 1965, she officially became a Middle Child when twin siblings Tutti and Todd enter the picture. Sadly, they both left us in 1971. Or did they? In 1991 Todd is reincarnated, and by 1992, he vanishes again. Very sketchy.
          That same year the Roberts’ welcome Kelly to the family, although it’s questionable exactly how welcome she is because soon after arriving, she becomes Stacie. Oh, and then we’re told she's the  twin sister of Todd! WTF!? No wonder he went missing. It’s like some surreal soap opera. And then things get really weird.
          In 1995, we find out there’s another Kelly! While the first Kelly, now Stacie, is with us to this day, Kelly #2 is a goner by 2010. In 1999, little Krissy comes along, but not for long. She’s out of the  picture by 2001. Sad.
Tutti & Todd: Some Middle Children
have it tougher than others.

          Finally in 2010, Chelsea shows up. Normally, the most recently born would be the baby, but this is the Roberts family, after all. Chelsea, born after Krissy, is actually older than Krissy. Makes perfect sense, especially when you consider Barbie was born in 1959, but her parents didn’t come into the picture until 1960. Don’t ask.
          So, what did my investigation reveal? Well, clearly there are some very shaky limbs on Barbie’s  family tree. But yes, there are multiple Middle Children in the Roberts family. And I’m really glad I played with Lego growing up.

1 comment:

Middle Children need to be heard!