As the self-appointed “Mouthpiece for the Middle Child,” it's my sworn duty to compile as much information as possible regarding our plight and offer my completely biased insights and totally skewed observations. In keeping with my vigilant
reportage of all things Middle Child, I've noticed there are
a lot of Middle Child metaphors floating around out
there in the Twitterverse lately. (A lot of Middle Child similes too, if you want to be literal about it.) Here’s a representative sampling.
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Twist us open and remove our innards. |
Being A Middle Child Bites:
Some of the implied comparisons I’ve come across pertain to food. The Middle Child has been compared to “the creamy middle of an Oreo cookie.” Do you know what that white stuff is made of? It’s mostly artificial ingredients and chemically enhanced fat. Is this supposed to be a good thing? It is tasty though, so I’ll take it as a compliment. But we’ve also been likened to pât
é. Well, actually chopped liver, which is definitely not a good thing no matter what you think about chopped liver.
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“What are we, Chopped Liver!?” |
Every Day Is Middle Child's Day:
There seems to be some disagreement over which day of the week is most Middle Child-like. Some maintain, “Wednesday is the Middle Child of the week,” which kind of makes a lot of sense since it really is smack dab in the middle of the week. Still, others argue “Tuesday is the misguided Middle Child of the week.” Someone even suggested “Saturday’s like the Middle Child,” which makes no sense at all since it’s nowhere near the middle of the week. It is, in fact, on the week
end. Even “special”
days have been thrown into the mix. Thanksgiving, Halloween and Easter have each been mentioned as “the Middle Child of holidays.” Here’s the problem with those comparisons: there already
is a “Middle Child of holidays.” It’s called Middle
Child’s Day! Of course, nobody even knows it exists.