Thursday, June 6, 2013

The Birth Denouncement

I have an old trunk that I keep in my study. It’s the trunk I used every summer when I went to sleep away camp. Just looking at the outside brings back all kinds of memories. Inside, it’s filled with all sorts of things from my childhood. Old photos. Ticket stubs to concerts. MAD magazines. I don’t throw much away, so pretty much anything related to my youth can be found inside that trunk. I thought I had recalled every memory that old trunk held, but one day I came across the most incredible thing. I found the reason why I am the way I am today. There it was, next to my hospital birth wristband and a plastic bag with a clipping of hair from my first haircut. It was not a written report from the elementary school psychologist. It was not a vile of my DNA. I found my birth announcement:
     Second billing, on my own birth announcement!?! REALLY!?!
Of course, to me it looked more like this:
     If my parents were trying to give me a resounding welcome into the world, they sure had a strange way of showing it. My fate was sealed before I even left the hospital. It might as well have said:

     The deck was already clearly stacked against me. How was I not going to grow up with a chip on my shoulder?  At least they didn’t say what they were really thinking:
     Apparently, my Middle Child issues took root long before I even became a Middle Child.


  1. That's hilarious. I'm totally a middle child. Someone once told me: "Oldest child takes over, Middle child takes responsibility, Youngest child takes advantage." In our family that is exactly how it worked!

    1. Melissa it is also exactly how it worked in my family!! One more thing I love about you that we have in common. The bottom birth announcement could have been mine except it would have said Mr. & Mrs. Maloof did not yet have a baby boy. Instead, Christine has a sister...what shall we call her? Well, she's just another "tine" I guess we'll call her Justine.

    2. My family worked as Melissa's too. And like JA, I also was the second daughter, the one they were hoping was a boy. 5 years later my brother was born. So they ended up having Mommy's girl and best friend, Daddy's boy and best friend and me (the middle one)

  2. Too funny! I'm so glad I found this. I am a middle child, (there are two siblings on either side of me.) Thank you for writing this in true, middle child humor. :)

  3. So sorry I didn't see this yesterday! I would have planned a party! Next year there will be a big celebration, of course I can't count on who will attend; but I'll be there! Belated wishes to all my fellow MC's.


Middle Children need to be heard!